Runner's Prayer

I'm not going to force my religion on you and I'm not about to quote of scripture but hear me out on this one....

Pace bands are used by many "serious" runners during a race to help them keep on pace to finish a race in their desired time period. The idea is to use a slip of water-resistant paper on your wrist that has certain times that correlate to each mile. So if you want to keep a 12 minute mile pace throughout the 26.2 mile marathon, you would write "mile 1- 12, mile 2- 24, mile 3-36" and so on. You would then look down at your watch every time you pass a mile marker to see if you are keeping on pace and you adjust your running speed accordingly.

I wrote "serious" runner above because pace bands are way too serious for me. I usually just try to run the whole race and if I run more than a 12 minute mile, so be it. Just keep the legs a turnin!

With that said, I want to use a pace band BUT I plan on stealing Kristin Armstrong's (the ex-Mrs. Lance Armstrong, her book Mile Markers is good, get a copy) recommendation by turning my pace band into a prayer band. Now again I'm not a religious nut, but I do believe in prayer. There are several people in my life right now that could use some good old fashion prayer, so lets give it a try, shall we. IF (yes IF in caps) I can find a pace band before the July 16th Half Moo-Nlight Marathon (sign up today!) I will be assigning someone or something to pray for/ meditate over/ concentrate on/ send good vibes to during each mile of the 13.1 mile race. The course is supposed to be dark and down country roads so the scenery isn't going to keep me distracted, nor is loud music always a good idea when those unpredictable and vengeful cows are around. So to distract myself Ill be thinking about someone. Will it be you?

If you think you need some pray send over a message and Ill try to fit you into my lucky 13. You will get at least 12 minutes of love from myself and my maker.

Plateau isnt a plateau when you eat everything in sight

Hello all.... So last week I was knee deep in all my favorite outdoor activities. Mountain biking and trail running have left a permanent dirt tan line and I have greatly enjoyed all my freedom to participate in the activities I love. HOWEVER, I sure fell off the wagon over the last week when it comes to eating. I can blame two things for my calorie consumption. First, when on vacation, eat! Thats what vacation is for, to leave behind all your stressors and for me dealing with a diet is a stressor. And two, when in training for something eat appropriately. I am running the Davis Moo-Nlight half-marathon on July 16th and when Im required to run 8 miles in 100 degree weather you bet your ass Im going to eat. With that said, I do wonder how do you train on a diet?

I have never figured this out. Weight Watchers gives you extra points for exercise so I assume they want you to use these points for gatorade and power bars. But its still so hard in my mind. A plate of spagetti is like 20 points and I only get 29 a day. Do I just focus on the lower point diet versions of everything like G2 the low calorie sports drink? Or do I say F-it until the race is over? I hate this!! Training for events is second to getting pregnant when it comes to why I left Weight Watchers. Ill ask on Saturday at the meeting, lets hope she has an answer.

When the number isn't going down

Hello all. This week was full of yay-for-me events that I thought I would vainly share. First off, I finally broke through my plateau and weighed in at 178 on Saturday. That weight loss put me at my second 10% loss since I started Weight Watchers in January. I like to remind myself that I started losing weight before WW but at some point I'm going to have to give up and only keep track of one number.

The second exciting thing that happened was my return to Fleet Feet. I trained with FF from July- December while I was training for the Urban Cow half-marathon and California International Marathon (CIM to locals, and I only ran a leg of it, not the whole thing). Anyway, you would think that after spending a half a year with my coaches, they would remember me, right? Apparently NOT!!! Not only did Isa's growth completely shock them as she pulled all the Sharkie energy fruit snacks off the rack, but when I said "remember me" they were dumbfounded by my size. Technically they didn't say they were dumbfounded but their faces revealed that they had no idea who I was after losing at least 30 pounds since I last saw them. SO YAY for me, no one recognizes me.

The third exciting thing, and according to my personal trainer is the most exciting thing (so excited he told his mom), I lost 6% body fat taking me from the "acceptable" body fat range to the "fitness" body fat range. I guess the fitness industry folks can legally call me an athlete now that I am "fit." I still argue that you can be fit and fat but convincing snotty fitness employees this is not so easy (Read "Fit and Fat" by Sally Edwards, she proves the fact that it is possible). Anyway, I was excited to be in a healthy body fat category.

I guess the reason I am bragging has to do with my BMI and current weight. According to my BMI, which most people consider to be the end all decider of fitness and healthy weight, I am still overweight and only .3 away from being obese. This frustrates me so much because people base their weight loss and self-esteem while losing weight on this number and their current weight. I guess I'm a little POed myself. How can I have three YAY-for-me moments while still being borderline obese. Uhh frustrating.

Anyway, I attached a picture of my most recent inches and body fat lost from my trainer Jereme Scott (24 Hour Fitness, Roseville, look him up, he rocks!). I'm going to share his excitement and forget the BMI BS for a while.

Tornado in town, so its onDemand time

Today is National Running Day so I was going to run outside, however since we Californians are being pounded with hail, watching for tornadoes, dodging lightening, and comforting terrified of thunder dogs, onDemand it is. I know I have a treadmill but I am really excited about my new "lets try it" project so I got right to it and looked at what my too expensive cable had to offer. 

OnDemand has an option called Sports/ Fitness and on this screen you can find Exercise TV. Once on Exercise TV you have a table of contents that will send you to every living room exercise available. You can try yoga, Jillian Michael's 30 day program, weight training, and dance among many more options. I chose Crunch Burlesque and Belly Dancing for Fitness. Here are my first attempts at reviews ;)

Crunch Burlesque

I found this dance to be quite silly and impossible to follow if you are uncoordinated. Hows that for an opener! Really you just spin around and follow around on the floor trying to look "sexy." It could be fun if you are a dancer, but the rest of us look silly trying to keep up. The only strenuous part was the pelvic thrusts you had to do from a body bridge position. 

Duration: 22 minutes, warm up and cool down included

Sweat Factor: None (good if you have something to do after and don't want to look like a mess)

Chance of a repeat visit (scale 1-10): 0

Belly Dancing for Fitness

I took belly dancing in college and loved it. Belly dancing is made for people with bellies and we do seem to be better at it than the flat six packers. So I would totally recommend Belly Dancing, whether it be the onDemand version or a real life class. This class worked my arms and shoulders more than anything else. You keep your arms up for most of the routine so be prepared to feel it a bit later. 

Duration: 13 minutes, warm up and cool down included

Sweat Factor: None (good if you have something to do after and don't want to look like a mess)

Chance of a repeat visit (scale 1-10): 6 (not as a work out on its own since its so short in length, plus I prefer the real class with an instructor)

Parkour.... what?

When I lived in NYC I often spent time with the Health editor at Marie Claire and she would tell me glamorous stories of a particular job that I would give up cuddle time with the sharp clawed Gato for.... I want to be the gal who gets to test stuff!!! The girl at Marie Claire got to test out sports equipment and rate it and now I am reading about a girl from Shape magazine that was in charge of testing out different sports activities/ trainings/ classes etc. In this edition of Shape she is trying Parkour, the crazy jump off of buildings martial art that looks more like a stunt devil workshop then Tai Kwon Do.

Anyway, since Marty left Marie Claire and I live in a boring suburb instead of the amazing NYC, I guess my chances of being the "tester" for a magazine are probably not going to happen. Therefore I am going to try to be a tester for Roseville's sporting options. I am going to try to do demo classes at a bunch of different places and I will get back to you and post how they went. I will post about both gym classes and private studios, as well as outdoor activities as well as workout DVDs. If you would like me to test something for you in advance, please let me know and I will do my best.

The only rules I have are:

1. It must be free. Im a stay at home mom so the dough is not exactly flowing.

2. I must have child care. I would be willing to pay for child care, just as long as she is safe somewhere so that Im not focused on her.

3. Im not jumping off a cliff into water, this is stupid, not to mention so not a sport.

So if you are interested let me know what you would like me to try and I will try it. I will try to send out some feelers to see who offers free demo classes. I will also try to re-try and evaluate things I have already done so that you can read about them too. Lastly, I will try to figure out some sort of scoring system to rate each activity. If this works Ill try to do something similar with recipes as well. Here we go!!!

Is this why I plateaued?

Today on "Rob, Arnie, and Dawn" Arnie said that fat people don't want to lose weight, they choose to stay fat. His argument: People know what to do to be healthy and they choose not to do these things. Enter stab to the heart from Arnie and stab in the back from myself. Am I stabbing myself in the back if I make the decision to not follow all the research, studies, advice, and well known knowledge that tells us how to eat and when to move?

I know that food is supposed to be fuel for the body, but really what about the pleasure you get from eating your favorite food? What about special occasions that revolve around breaking bread with your family and friends? Bread isn't good for you and neither are the booze that I want to drink with friends. So am I really making the decision to stay this plump? I guess so.

It really sucks to think that I would be making myself overweight when I'm trying to be of average weight. Talk about burning from both ends of the stick (is that the saying? I don't remember). I guess Ill have to make more sacrifices here even though I don't want to. I don't want to not like chocolate. I really don't want to think about the effects of junk food on my arteries as I consume it, but I guess that's what I have to do if I want to get off this plateau.

Thunder Thighs???

Proof that I shouldn't be allowed out of the house without an adult:

Poor teenage Old Navy employee who had the misfortune of meeting me: May I help you find something?

Me: Yes. Where is the shorts section for girls with thighs?

Employee: I don't understand what you mean?

Me: Where is the shorts section for girls with thighs?

Employee: Everyone has thighs, what are you looking for?

Me: No... Some girls have twigs, some girls are normal, and some girls have "thighs." (Point to thigh to ensure said skinny leg jeans wearing male adolescent understands that a thigh is part of my leg and not my arm).



Employee: Ummmm

Me: Never mind (you are useless to me) <---- didn't say out loud, apparently people in CA are nicer than people in NYC and I have to curb my enthusiasm when it comes to telling people what I really think about them


End result: No shorts purchased, however with a tan and some lipo I will reconsider and not give the Old Navy staff a headache

Today I dont feel like doin' anything....nothing at all

I have been struggling over the last three weeks to find my motivation to continue on with this weight loss journey. I don't feel like tracking (although i have been), I haven't been to the gym in three days (bigger deal than it seems when you go everyday), and would rather eat ice cream and candy than vegetables and whole grains....we all know lean proteins like poultry and fish are never wanted. I have officially lost my drive. I have been yo-yoing up and down between 180 and 182 for three weeks and it just seems like the stress of everything is getting to be too much. I feel like I need a break.....

This all brings me to wonder if you are allowed to take a break when you are "dieting".... I mean attempting to make a life style change. I would assume that if you want a break from dieting, you haven't made a lifestyle change. But I would also argue that the fact that I lost weight this pass week would mean that maybe at least something in my lifestyle is changing.

Here is what I have come to realize this month:

1. I want to eat ice cream everyday after dinner. If I select a weight watcher or skinny cow option this is fine but my weight loss slows down. I wanted to do this in order to keep "normal" eating habits that I could continue for the rest of my life. I have no intention of cutting out all sweets so if I want my weight loss to be permanent I should do things that can be permanent as well. For the record: permanent is apparently a word whose spelling will never be correct the first time I type it.

2. If I eat ice cream everyday I will eventually slip, so if I want to lose weight quicker I need to cut all sweets out. Great!

3. I am so sick of battling this debate in my head I want to take time off.

4. There is no time off if you are making a life style change.

UGH!

Challenge accepted

Thanks to the series of unfortunate events, I find myself up 2.2 pounds. The beer yesterday sure beat last weekends stressfest. Time to start over fresh (the best thing about weight watchers!) so I think two challenges will be self challenged this week.

1. No junk food except on Saturdays. I need junk food (yes I need it) so moderation with a bit of deprevation works well for me.

2. I will hit 100 activity points this week. I did. This once and only once when I was working out two hours a day. I will try again. To give you and idea on what that would take, running an hour would get you 12ish points while a weight training class or free weights for an hour would get you 5 points. I can and will find a way to get to 100.

Challenge accepted!

myTeam Triumph

I have not been around lately, for which I do apologize, but I have good reason. I’m finally working on my TPAs, which are a series of online tests that I have to submit before I will officially receive my teaching credential. Lets not bring up the fact that I completed the program and my Masters fourteen months ago. Some of us don’t multitask well and prefer napping over schoolwork when our babies finally nap. With that said, hello again stranger, you look mighty slim today J

I am writing today to tell you about an amazing experience I had on Saturday when I ran the parkway 5K with some of the other moms from group. First I have to say I ran my fastest 5K ever, shedding two minutes off my previous times. High five! That wasn’t the best part though, on Saturday I discovered MyTeam Triumph. MTT as it will further be called, is a community based program that partners athletes with disabled athletes so that they may participate in road races, duathlons (run, bike, run), and triathlons (swim, bike, run).

On Saturday, the most amazing group of people that I have ever seen passed me. Two teams pushing two teens in MyTeam Triumph wagons joyfully, and what looked like effortlessly, jogged by while one of the teens yelled “go..go..go” the whole time they ran At first I thought he was cheering me on and then it hit me that he was so excited and was having so much fun that “go…go…go” was all he could say to express his excitement and gratitude for the experience of running in a road race. I knew that moment, that I wanted to be a part of his team.

Now we all know, I am a 29-year-old mother of one, who has battled asthma my whole life. I run regularly and participate in several physical activities so my asthma is currently under control. However, it was not when I was younger so I know how disappointing it can be to see others do something as simple as running, when you yourself cannot do it.  As an adult, I want to give back to those who are going through what I went through so that they too can be a part of the excitement and fun.

I really look forward to volunteering with MyTeam Triumph in 5Ks, 10Ks, and triathlons. I have participated in several of each and am prepared to train harder to make sure I am ready to assist my “Captains” (the disabled athlete is a captain and the volunteers are angels). I am ready to prepare any information from my doctor, my personal trainer, and the coaches I trained with for a half-marathon to quiet any concerns that may come about due to my asthma. I really feel MyTeam Triumph is the right fit for me and lets just hope they agree.

Do you shy away from the camera? I sure do

Losing weight is not just about food choices, calorie counting or stacking up the minutes on an elliptical. Everyone has heard the myth that willpower is everything, but now fitness experts are discussing “want power.” "Willpower is defined as the mental strength to set limits for yourself. Want power is your desire and motivation-the forces that drive you to behave in a certain way" (Rippe and Weight Watchers, 2005, p. 56).

Your motivation to get to a healthy weight and maintain it, is usually caused by something. It could be an event coming up (good thing no one organized our high school reunion) or a comment about the way you look. In my case the event that made me want to lose weight was the pictures I erased off of my FB page that showed a rather plump Colleen next to a row of beautiful, thin girls. Sorry Caitlin, your wedding was beautiful and I am very happy for you but your pictures are not going on my page. I'll need you to renew your vows in a couple of months so that I can look better in your photos. Thanks!

Today a group of friends and I discussed how we want to look different than we do now. We each found a flaw in ourselves that no one else saw. We were forgetting to be happy with our bodies, even though the figure can be the first to go when life (in this case, babies) get in the way. So I know I write about how unhappy I can be with my weight and physical appearance, but I can’t help but wonder if I will look back at pictures of myself today and think “damn I looked good.” So I think I’ll try to change my mindset and even though I know I have work to do to get to a healthy weight, I am going to try to be happy with myself in the process. I don’t want to miss pictures of Isa and I on Easter because I was too disappointed in my belly (read: myself) to take pictures with her. I am going to try to be happy so that I don’t miss out on life. I want to be confident in pictures and not regret them like the ones taken at Caitlin’s wedding. 

Oh yeah...the results

Sorry I forgot to add the results for the race and this weeks weigh in.

Moral of the story...Don't underestimate yourself.

Reason: When I registered for the race I decided to race in my age group of 20-29 instead of the the Athena group, which is for women over 160 pounds. When I registered I decided to do this because I wanted to race earlier in the herd, because last time I raced with the Athena group I finished almost last, and these TBF events are known for participants packing up and leaving as you are still racing. Since I hated having to run around cars trying to leave, I decided to race earlier with my age group. Now when I got to the race, I saw that there were only 11 people in my age group. This has never happened before and the idea that the top five racers in each group gets a winners plaque crossed my mind. Hmmm. I thought, I have a 50-50 chance of taking home a plaque. Then I realized the other ten participants in the 20-29 group were 22. Oh well I thought, not this year.

So I got into the swim area and took my place at the back of the swim heat so that I wouldn't be in the faster swimmers way when the clusterfuck of swimmers take the water. When the "Go" was yelled (no horn or gun to start us off) I waited for everyone to clear the path and then dove in. I proceeded to then pass all those "good, fast swimmers" swimming the best swim of my life. I got out of the water before half of them. Then it hit me...oh my god, i could get a winners plaque! I then cycled and ran my heart out to get that plaque that I have never even seen before because it has always been out of my league.

With all my hard work I came in sixth! That's right I missed my chance of a winners plaque by 40 seconds, the amount of time I let all the "better" swimmers go ahead of me. I was so disappointed in myself for not believing in myself. I could have had a cool award that I beat out six 22 year olds for, and instead I get to think: "Wow if I would have had more self-confidence I could have had an award." I may never get my chance to win again, and its all my fault.

So I walked away from the race both pissed that I let myself down, and excited that I had completed another triathlon. I finished in one hour and six seconds and felt like I could have kept going. I had a blast during the race and it defiantly served its purpose, Benny and I made a list of races to do all summer. It really was a good day. I learned that my body can recover after injury and I learned that I need to believe in myself or I'm never going to be in the winners circle.



WW Update:
Week one "back" and I lost 1.8 pounds. I was very pleased with this and hope to keep the ball rollin'

I hate you a little less today

When we started off you kinda screwed me. I could never play tag because I would get targeted as the slow one and get tagged first. Then since I couldn't breathe I was stuck "It" forever. Who came up with being an "It" anyway? Made me feel like crap. You were no better to me in a swimming pool either. I hated pool games like Marco Polo and all the stupid swim across the pool games. You made it so that I couldn't hold my breath long enough to dive down or swim over, and again the "it" factor showed up again.

I remember winning an award in middle school for being the "most inspirational" athlete. You know why I won that? Because you made go to the ER with asthma attacks. Seems fair, right? Thanks a lot.

Its not just one part of you that let me down either. More recently you decided to self-destruct making me question everything about my life. Am I good enough for my husband? Maybe he should have married someone else who could give him the happiness he deserves. You made me have to rethink my whole life plan....again! Could you throw a few less curve balls. You already destroyed my dream job, do you really have to go for the family too!! You cant really say "at least you got your health," when you are the one screwing that up.

But really today, you weren't so bad. Technically 13 and a half months ago and the ten months prior to that you weren't so bad either (maybe the second time I ever really liked you), but today is fresh on my mind. It seems like when I hate you the most, you come back to help me out again.

You looked good today. You swam like a mermaid, getting out of the lake in less than five minutes. Your stubs sure looked good with numbers written on them. Pretty skinny actually, and lets admit "skinny" is not normally a word we reserve for you. But on the bike, you looked good and dare I say skinny. Most importantly I appreciated the work you put out on the run. You kept the engine roarin and the feet a movin. And even though you were passed by everyone between 40-49 and the whole Woodcreek High tri-team (14-17 years old), you did manage to race to the end with that 10 year old, AND BEAT HIM!! Ha thank that ten year old.

I guess our love-hate relationship will have to continue, but I would really like to hate you less. I realize you may hate me sometimes too. I do enjoy beer without asking your permission, and aspartame sure tastes better than the non-processed stuff, but I promise to treat you better, now just start treating me better please. I made a list of races to do, all of which I will need to train for, so Ill probably eat really healthy all summer. So lets help me out, ok. Just get the asthma, allergies, etc etc under control. Ill work on you but you need to play your part to.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,
The mind that tells you what to do

Triathlon only has one A in it

Sometimes I think I'm pretty crafty, smart, enthusiastic, athletic, etc etc on the positive attributes. And sometimes I go against all that wisdom and do stupid stuff just to see what happens. Two point five minutes ago I did such a thing and signed up for the Ice Breakers Dash, a triathlon sponsored by a local triathlon team here in the greater Sacramento area. Now I have successfully completed four point five triathlons in the past including the prestigious New York City Triathlon which was an Olympic distance race that involved swimming in the Hudson River. At one point you needed to get shots just to participate in the race but thanks to environmental freaks like Lisa, I was lucky to swim in a safer (read: no dead bodies) Hudson River. Anyway, long story short, triathlons are not new to me. The point five was because although I finished the fifth triathlon here in Granite Bay I was DQed for not one, not two, but three bike tire explosions. More later... possibly.

SO yay for me... triathlete me is on her way back into the world. The dumb part of all this is that the triathlon is on Sunday, like in three days. Only I would do this to myself. I have officially been back to the gym three times since getting off of bed rest and in the same number of days I will be swimming, biking and running. I did this for several reasons that are actually pretty logical, despite what you may think. Reasons are as follows:

1. Once you have participated in a multi sport event, you know what to expect. Once you have participated in several events and participated on several training teams, one of which I even coached, I really know what to expect, how to behave, how to act, etc. Therefore Ill be fine.

2. Once you spend three months being really excited about working out and improving your life and are then cut short and down to nothing, you need something to remind yourself that you can return. Will power is great but want power is better. I want to do this. Will has nothing on the amount of want, so I need will to know she can do it too.

3. I'm doing the race alone (unless you want to join me). I need things to do by myself. This is a battle that wages in my own head and body and to be able to get myself out of bed in the dark, drive to Folsom, set up my crap, and wait at the starting line....alone, is a huge accomplishment and celebration in my eyes. No one can tell me this is dumb if no one is there. Therefore if you are a nutcase too and want to sign up, go ahead, Ill teach you everything you need to know about triathlon in the next three days, just don't be a lame-o once its time to go or Ill kick your goggles off just to get away from you while you put them back on. :)

4. Its a super sprint so 200 meters of swimming, 6.5 miles of biking, and a 2 mile run is easy for me. Easy is a nice way to start the triathlon/running season. I know this is not easy for most people so please don't take those words wrong, but I encourage you to see how easy it can be.

5. I have loyal readers that have expressed to me that they love this blog. I feel I need/want to tell people how possible the impossible is. Triathlon is a sport that seems scary to most and its not scary at all. Getting back into shape is a concept that most find scary and its not scary at all. Doing something because you know it is just right despite its logic is a scary notion that is not scary at all. I will do a triathlon in three days so that you and I both know that life's setbacks are just that, they are setbacks and if you want to or need to move on by doing something crazy then do it. I know I can do this and I will do this in three days. I have only swam once in the last two years but that's OK, that day was magic and I left the pool so heart happy. I am going to drive home on Sunday, heart happy again. I encourage you to do something, whether it be trying low-fat ranch or running a 5K, that you think is silly, stupid, impossible, crazy, or just plain dumb. You will surprise yourself.

Im back!!

As many of you know I have been missing in action (diet and exercise action) for the past eight weeks and have been on a modified bed rest while I battle with a health problem that has plagued me for the past two years. I am fine and will continue to be fine, just a few heart breaking moments that will probably never stop. As I sat on the couch, I realized just how many people I can count on in life when the going gets tough. I have friends who live hundred plus miles away offer to take off work to come help with Isa. I had a friend who has similar health issues drop everything to come one particularly painful night, when the only person I wanted was her or my mom. My family and friends have always been there but I realize I don't give them the credit they deserve. So for everything, I thank you. Now lets move on because that's all I ever want to do.

Today, Teresa the Weight Watchers leader, whom I heart big time, saw me for the first time in eight weeks and asked if I was okay. She was worried because she knew how well I was doing and how excited and proud I was before I disappeared. I told her "health stuff" and she had a knowing head nod and then moved on to helping the next person. As I tried to sit through the meeting (emphasis on "tried" since I had the hellion who managed to gather stares from everyone as she made "nom nom" noises the whole time she ate her high fiber cereal (3 pts for a cup!)), I realized that I am really excited to be back. Today is my first day one hundred percent back and I am so excited. So excited that I dragged poor Melissa to the grand opening of the new Roseville Performance Bike Shop and then proceeded to steal her well earned gift card. I forced her to help me pick out new sports sunglasses (if you stole my Nike's please give them back, reward available for tips on their where abouts) and made her help me find fatty bike shorts. Then I made poor Melissa suffer through my excitement about returning to mountain biking and even hoovered her into weekly babysitting. THEN I came home and proceeded to look for races, activities, and gym classes to fill every day of the week for the next four months.

I feel like a weight was lifted off my shoulders and that I can breathe again. I didn't realize (I thought I knew but I really didn't) how much I missed having an active lifestyle. My friend warned me that it would take a while to get back up to my previous aerobic fitness level but that's OK. I like the build up. Going for a run today when Isa wakes up from her nap and I have a bike ride planned for tomorrow with the hubby and bike trailer (if it works we are talking daily rides with Isa). So if you are free or have something fun to try please let me know. I'm down for almost anything free and almost anything almost free. Hope to see you out there! PS Ill post a list of future races and activities for any takers interested.

PS... I was really lax over the last two months about my eating but lost about a half a pound, so I guess I wasn't too bad.

Life Style Changes are for Those Without Taste Buds

Do you work out because you have to or because you want to? Are you on a diet or have you experienced a life change?

I started reading "Such a Pretty Fat" by Jen Lancaster because I wanted a break from all the dieting, nutrition, and exercise advice that I read in my usual arsenal of fitness magazines. Lancaster is a comedian who documented her failing (at least so far) attempt to lose weight. She has brought up two major points in this chapter alone that made me think. First, I exercise because obviously I need to, but more importantly I exercise because I want to. I think I have at least above average athletic ability that I enjoy using and I like the self-confidence that exercise brings. There are other obvious benefits like my shrinking post c-section/ lost 30 pounds in one day/stretch marked/saggy-skinned belly, but really I just plain feel cool leaving the gym and talking about an upcoming race. I also really like the fact that my delightful husband and I get babysitters for Sunday races almost every month. It's our thing.

On the other hand, what worries me about this weight loss process is the fact that when it comes to food, I am still a dieter; this has not been a life style change. How do you know the difference, you ask? It's plain and simple really. When you are a dieter, (totally assuming I can't be the only one here) you think about food ALL THE TIME! You look at what other people are eating. You know where all the drive-thru Starbucks are. You think about when you can eat what and how delicious it will taste. You still want the ice cream, cookies, candy, and cake; you are just trying to convince yourself that you don’t. Life changers don’t obsess the way dieters do. The thought of a pizza and beer doesn’t fill them with excitement. They actually want to do what is healthy. Me… I’m a dieter. I look forward to eating. I look forward to an ice cream cake on my birthday and the pastries a friend is bringing me back from NYC next month. I am a dieter, and even if it’s not that great for my health, at least I’m trying to do what is best. I can look and just not touch, right? Maybe eventually I will choose the apple over the brownie sample at the grocery store (like the lady in the Special K commercial), but it’s going to take a while to convince my brain, belly, and will power. 

Finally. Just to update the mass:

Down 2.8 this Saturday

Total so far since joining WW is now down 15

Total since December when I had to swear off everything delicious, down 20

Music Makes the Legs Go Round

Music Makes the Legs Go Round

I spend a lot of time sitting in my car while my baby sleeps in the back seat. It is at these times that I update my food and activity tracker, read fitness related magazines or books, check Facebook and email, and write blog posts. So the other day as I sat in front of the scrapbook store, aka my mother's homeland, I sat and read Fitness, a magazine obviously related to fitness. As I was reading an article about how to boast your energy, and although a great deal of important advice is listed, all I can focus on is the part about what songs to listen to when, where, and why. According to their professionals on the topic, music does everything from relieve stress and lower blood pressure to provide motivation and help you run really fast when it gets dark earlier than you thought and the trail you are on alone makes you think of a horror movie. When I read magazines like this I always look at the recommended playlists that everyone from interviewed celebrities to fitness instructors to the health editor always want to share. Everyone recommends Rhianna, the Black Eyed Peas, and a bunch of other people that I have either a) never heard of or b) just don't like. So here is my recommended playlist that I have split into sections like the magazine did.

Here it goes:

What to listen to while running (Hip Hop/Rap/Pop):

            ‘When I Grow Up” Pussycat Dolls

            “High School Never Ends” Bowling for Soup

            “Live Your Life” T.I.

            “Let it Rock” Kevin Rudolf

            “Low” Flo Rida (I’m rebellious and call him Florida)           

            “That’s Not My Name” The Ting Tings (only a good song if you put both             headphones in)

            “I’m in Miami Bitch” LMFAO

            “Hey Mama” Black Eyed Peas

            “The Way You Move” Outkast

What to listen to while running (Rock/Metal)

             “Burn it to the Ground” Nickleback

            “Porn Star Dancing” My Darkest Days

            “Savior” Rise Against

            “Bleed it Out” Linkin Park

            “Dragula” Rob Zombie

            “Crazy Bitch” Buckcherry

            “Equalizer” Finger Eleven

            “Are You Going To Be My Girl” Jet

            “The Beautiful People” Marilyn Manson

What to listen to while running (Reggatone… I’m not proud of including Reggatone but it reminds me of salsa dancing, which reminds me of my hubby whom I want to look good for. Plus its kind of fun when it’s playing at any time besides the middle of the night like my neighbors used to do):

            “The Anthem” Pitbull

            “Hotel Room Service” Pitbull

            “Na De Na” Angel y Khriz, Gocho, & John Eric

What to listen to when you about to finish a long run or bike ride (think the home stretch of something difficult):

            “Welcome to the Black Parade” My Chemical Romance

            “Love Me Dead” Ludo

            “The Day That I Die” Good Charlotte

           

What to listen to when stretching after a workout:

            “Welcome Home” Rehab (more upbeat than the others)

            “Bittersweet Symphony” The Verve

            “Song for the Rich” Tristan Pettyman

            “The Weary Kind” from the motion picture Crazy Heart

Now looking at the thirteen people that follow this blog I can already see who will tell me I have bad taste in music and frankly I don't care what you think. If you don't like my taste, don't download the songs! Also I would be more than willing to download some of the songs onto a CD for you if you feel I am a mastermind of playlist making and you must have all my favs too.

Birthday Party! Oh Birthday Party!

Birthday party! Oh, birthday party!

I hate you! You stink!

I wish I could wash you away in the sink.

With your cake, pizza, beer, and wine,

If I say not to the treats

The host is sure to whine.

I'd rather eat salads

With dressing on the side,

Or hop on a bike,

And ride and ride.

Running, strength training,

oh the fun,

How do you say no,

When everyone is turning one?

Birthday party! Oh, birthday party!

You're last on my list,

I simple can't see why you even exist,

If you just disappeared

It would tickle me pink.

Birthday party! Oh, birthday party!

I hate you! You stink!

I'd like to dedicate this masterpiece to the five One Year Old birthday parties I will be attending in the month of February. I understand that two of those parties honor my own child in some way, but that's OK she knows I love her even though I write songs about how much her birthday bugs me. I would also like to give a big thumbs down to my own birthday that is rapidly approaching. Although I do take cash:). 

Also weigh in number 5 occurred today...... down 4.4!!! Very excited since the nugget and I were very sick last week. I would like to thank my brain for not telling my tummy that time at home means time to eat. The 4.4 pound lost brought me down to 186.2. This means I hit my first goal at Weight Watchers of 10% of my original weight! I got a very expensive key chain to celebrate. And by expensive I mean not really. 

I Missed a Weigh In but Found Other Positives This Week

Thats right I missed my weigh in today.

Isa and I have been sick all week making it very hard for me to get workouts in. I have eaten well all week but without the option of the gym's daycare, gym visits have been scarce. In complete exhaustion I finally called my mom yesterday and begged to come over for some TLC for both Isa and I. I looked up both cardio gym classes at the Livermore 24 Hour Fitness and local Weight Watchers meetings with the intent of going to both this morning. Instead I was so tired and sick I went to bed really early last night and was rewarded with my attempt to go to bed early and sleep off my sickness, with a 5am wake up call from the offspring. Together we coughed, wheezed, and whined on the cough until my mother relieved me for a mid morning nap- a nap that took place during the one and only WW meeting in Livermore on Saturday morning. So yes I missed my weigh in. I was kind of bummed because this should have been the weigh in that I reached my first ten pounds aka 10% of my body weight but instead I slept like a log with my dog by my side and my saintly mother watching over the other plague patient.

I guess life gets in the way of our efforts to lose weight sometimes. I was pretty good at first suffering through some strength training and spinning at the beginning of the week but as the week went on my lung functioning went down the drain. I had one last ditch effort at pilates on Thursday when my wonderful husband came home early to help me get to the gym, but without the cardio who knows if I would have even lost the weight anyway. Oh well. Lesson learned, when I get sick just do the best I can. excellent week for yoga, pilates, and strength training I guess. Lets just hope I don't die during my 10K tomorrow. I have to go even if I cant breathe because not only did I pay for it, but I also need to pick up my prize winnings and strut my Steelers running gear.

Oh yeah and as mentioned in the title that drew you into reading this post, there were two major bravos that happened this week.

1. I fit into size 12 jeans!! This is a big deal for two reasons, again with the 1. this was my pre-pregnancy jean size. Although I had lost the pregnancy weight I was not the same jean size until now. 2. I was a size 16 in December when I first started to try to lose weight. 3. I got said size 12 Gap jeans at Goodwill! Yay for $8 jeans.

2. Because working out has nicely shrunken down the massive boulders and spare tire a bit I fit into both my Steelers jerseys again. SO not only do I have a jersey to run in tomorrow, I have another one for the game! Yay!!

When it seems like there is no time for exercise

I often read material on fitness to keep myself motivated through rough days. As in today. When I read said fitness magazines I often am amazing by all the topics that I want to steal from them and add to my blog. Today I want to share a topic on exercise. 

I know that as a mother/wife/woman there are a million things to do in far fewer hours then available in the day. At times fitting in exercise is hard and often the last on the list of priorities. Here is a list of why exercise should be moved up on the list and why we should invest in our own health more and invest in washing the dishes and watching Jersey Shore less. 

"As little as 30 minutes of cario three to five days a week will add six years to your life" according to researh at the Cooper clinic in Dallas. But that's not all, if you add strength training you will look younger, feel happier, have more energy, stay slim, and as previously stated live six more of your spouse, children, and grandchildren's lives. Here are a few more fun facts to get you out into the fresh air or meatheaded gym: 

As you work out...
 Your lungs are getting stronger.
 Your motivation is at it's peak.
 Your fighting flab.

Within one hour of exercise...
 You're protecting yourself against colds, flu, you name it.
 You're feeling zen.
 You're blasting calories, even at rest. 

Within one day of exercise...
 You're adding lean muscle.
 Your heart is healthier.
 You're super alert and focused.

Within one week of exercise...
 Your risk of diabetes goes down.
 You're fitter.
 You're slimmer.

Within one month of regular exercise...
 You're getting stronger.
 You're blasting belly fat.
 You've got more brainpower.

Within one year of regular exercise:
 Working out is way easier.
 You're heart rate is lower.
 You're a fat-melting machine.
 You've cut your cancer risk (can be as much as 55% lower chance of breast cancer).
 You're adding years to your life.
 You feel fantastic.

During a week like this one in which my daughter and I are both sick I need to be reminded why I should find low impact exercise during the week. I may not feel well and the gym may not be an option but there are so many reasons why I should find something aerobic to do. When you are feeling like today is not the day to work out, look at this list and remind yourself why today is the day to get moving. Everyday is important in your quest to be fit. Sure you can start again on Monday but you would feel better if you started again today. A walk around the block or a game of fetch with the dog may be all you can do with your sneezing and coughing but it will keep you on track for those extra years. Today while ISA and I are ill I will be doing pilates. Low impact on the lungs but big impact on my core. Huge impact on my quest to lower my weight and get more fit.

Thank you Alyssa Shaffer for writing "power surge" in the Nov/Dec 2010 issue of Fitness. Please don't sue me for using your material, I quoted you so you got your credit.
Colleen

Would You Invest in Yourself?

Would you invest in yourself?

Would you?

Do you know how?

Can you afford it?

What stands in your way?

Who would support you?

Hinder you?

Would it be easy or hard to invest in yourself?

On Sunday a friend of mine invited me to join her for Bikram Yoga (aka hot yoga). My response was that although I really like Bikram, I couldn’t afford it. I mentioned that I had a little extra money coming in but that I wasn’t sure if it could go to yoga or if I should put it into the groceries or savings account. Should I invest in my financial future or my physical, mental, and emotional health? Is it safe to invest in my health when I’m not sure if I can keep up this rigorous workout and eating routine? Or should I invest into a savings account where I know it will be needed one day. I honestly don’t know which option is better?

I feel like this is a concern that Americans everywhere are facing. In a time when pennies are being pinched and you have to really want something to spend on it, can money be put towards your health? I have several family members and friends that say yes, your health is all you have. These brave souls take lower paying jobs to apply for medical or spend way too much on organic and raw foods from Trader Joes and Whole Foods. Then I have several friends who put every last penny earned into their children’s college funds. How can you deprive your children from a higher education when the price of schooling will be in the hundreds of thousands when they get there in twenty years?

I have not decided what to do yet. I have a body that needs help, a household that needs a bit more money, no 401k, and a child who I pray will want to go to college. How should I invest in myself?

To Cheat Day or Not to Cheat Day

To cheat day or not to cheat day, that is the question. Most diets recommend a cheat day. The Biggest Losers get a cheat day, my friends super Nazi no-carb diet book diet gets a cheat day, Weight Watchers recommends eating all your weekly allowance points which can in reality can create a cheat day. Diets recommend a cheat day to help a person feel fulfilled, less deprived, less uncomfortable at fun eating events like parties, and more human over all. I can definitely see the value of the "cheat day." However, I can see how the cheat day is not for everyone.

Normally, I don't cheat day because I'm an all or nothing, mindless eating, can't control myself with cookies eater. If I cheat day you may never see a skinny me again. Because of my complete lack of self control, cheat days are a thing of myth and mystery that I don't experience often. Well yesterday after weighing in (and losing another 1.2 lbs) I cheat dayed (spell checker does not approve of my use of a made up word to prove my point). I had two mini cookies with my mom in the afternoon and then about 3/4 of a cup of Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Mint Cookie ice cream in the evening. Boy was I sick last night!! I couldn't sleep, my stomach hurt. I had to drink (as in from the bottle, not from the measuring cup) some Pepto. I was sick as a dog, and why?? For an F-ing cheat day. I hated you last night cheat day. I would poke you with a stick if I could. I should have known I would get sick since I had counted out the days since my last cookie (30 days since having one, but really 58 days since having more than one) and ice cream (28 days). If you can count the days, you are obviously obsessing a little and maybe you need a cheat day. I also saw the first post on FB about girl scout cookies (my demise) and knew that if I didn't get at least something fatty or chocolatey in me a box of Thin Mints would be in my future. So even though I cheat dayed, it was going to happen at some point and would have been way worse. I have a little binge eater in me when it's girl scout time so better 3/4 cup of ice cream than a box or two. Can't forget those peanut butter chocolate ones after all. They would have been involved too.

Small victories past, present, and future

A good friend of mine, Melissa, just started a weight loss blog and posted a very important post the other day. She discussed how important it is to celebrate small victories along with the big ones. As I struggle to loss my first 5%, I have come across a very small victories that I would like to share. First, I have always had asthma and the weight I put on often makes it worse. Yesterday I forgot my inhaler and decided to proceed with my speed interval treadmill work out as planned. I ran for thirty minutes, sometimes at a speed two minutes faster than normal, without wheezing once! Hello victory! In fact maybe the biggest victory yet. I may not weight thirty pounds less but my heart and lungs are getting stronger and more fit. Second victory that I can think of right away would be the week I have gone without back or leg pain. My doctor told me I had a weak back that was sending pain down my right leg. In order to strengthen my lower back and get rid of the pain I hired a personal trainer at the gym and have now seen him twice. No pain!!! This is a victory because I listened to my doctor's advice and did something about a problem. I took the initiative to help my body. Third victory, today after having a very rough start to the day I ran upstairs and grabbed what I thought we my most recently purchased jeans. Little did I know when I went to put them on they were a pair of jeans that I wore a few months after ISA was born around the time I started running with

Week three weight in

I weighed in again on Saturday but instead of immediately getting to the point, let's chat. I started this blog when I read that making your weight loss public was a helpful and easy way to stay on track with your goals. Obviously I followed the advice but The Biggest Loser gave me another helpful, yet very public way to stay on track. Last week a gentleman wrote 349 on his arm with a sharpie. When people would ask him what it stood for, he would say he wants to weight in at 349 on the next weight in. With this as an inspiration I wrote 189 on my arm. You probably don't remember but I weighed 193 last week so aiming for such a large loss was not ideal but I weighed myself Friday morning and saw 191 on the scale. In order to not blow the weight loss I had already lost I wrote 189 to stay motivated. I knew I wouldn't loss that much but it kept me motivated. On Saturday morning I kept the 191.8 on the scale and was down 1.6. The lesson I learned is that people ask why you write things on your hands. We are nosy. So if you need that extra reminder to do something whether it be to call someone or to not eat pizza, write it on your hand. It's a great conversation starter and you become your own reminder. I can't help but dare someone to write "ask me out" on their hand to see if he/she can get a date out of this. Try it!

Being stubborn is often painful

It may not be everyones favorite activity, but it's one of mine. It allows me to forget what is going on in my life and focus on absolutely nothing. It causes sweat to pour off my nose, chafing under my bra, and really knotty hair. It requires a lot of sunscreen which often ends up burning my eyes. I can do it alone, with a friend, with my dog, with a stroller, with my husband, with a group, on the pavement, on the dirt, uncomfortably on the sand, with music, without music, while watching TV, or my personal oldie but goodie favorite- against a bus. It's running! I love it! I've been told over and over again not to do it, how to do it, where to do it, and when to do it. I have pushed myself past the breaking point with it. I have surprised myself with it. I have spent hours in the ER because of it. I have put myself into tears because of it. I have even won awards for it. And right now I really can't do it. 

I have something wrong with my lower back. Medical professionals in both medicine and physical therapy have suggested several reasons behind the back pain that is shooting cringing pain down my leg. Maybe it's a slipped disk, a pitched nerve, just a weak back. Who knows. All I know is that when I run I am in pain to two to three days after. I have been running anyway since I'm stubborn as hell but the pain can be so bad I can't even life my foot to push down on the gas pedal. Instead of giving up running (which I know would be best, but I never really listened to that) I am meeting with a personal trainer today to "work on" my lower back and the stomach muscles that wrap around to my back. Let's hope this works because I'm not going to stop running. I'll probably never stop running. 

Health Scare

On Tuesday morning I went to the doctor after being told the doctor wanted to talk to me about my blood results. Immediately Benny and I started worrying about diabetes, cholesterol, or worse. It turns out that my thyroid is giving out. The doctor asked if I have been tired, cranky, hungry, or had sudden weight gain. Um yeah! Most is due to raising a baby but I did gain almost 20 pounds in less than three months. I figured the weight gain was brought on by losing a baby when I miscarried two years ago. I guess it wasn't. The doctor gave me medication that I will need to take for the rest of my life to keep my thyroid making the hormones that I need. On a good note, the medication is supposed to help me lose weight easier and it will help my body sustain a pregnancy so that my chances of miscarriage go down. I'm looking at the whole thing as a positive thing and I look forward to the weight loss help and I can't wait to be excited about being pregnant instead of being scared.

I wanted to write this post because I called the doctor just to see if my health was ok. I wanted to check my cholesterol, blood pressure, etc. If I hadn't checked in with a doctor I wouldn't know that a health condition caused my weight gain. I wouldn't know that there is something I can do to prevent miscarriage. A few months ago my aunt did a health check and found out she had cancer. It's important to take care of all aspects of our health, not just maintaining a healthy weight. So here are my pledges to my health: 

I pledge to go to the dentist twice a year. 

I pledge to get my skin checked once a year by a dermatologist.

I pledge to buy floss and at least try to use it on a regular basis.

I pledge to drink less diet soda.

I pledge to take care of my eyes by wearing sunglasses and of my feet by wearing better shoes. 

I pledge to not blare my music too loud in my car and more importantly from my headphones.

More pledges to come and I encourage you to look at your own health too.
 

Sent from my iPhone

I had to gain 50 to lose 100

A leader at Weight Watchers said that to me once, she had to gain 50 to lose 100. She didn't mean the weight was a wake up call, she meant that in the process of losing 100 pounds, she gained 50. She would lose 2 lbs one week then gain 0.5, then lose 3 followed by gaining 1. At first I thought "dude that sucks, I don't want to do that," but then I realized that gaining is part of losing. Just like addicts normally relapse a few times before they finally become sober. It sucks and its discouraging and it can really piss other people off, but it happens and its best to see it as a part of the process so that you don't lose all your faith.

Last night I was going to write a post about how I was really scared that I had gained weight this week. I don't know why I thought this. I worked out six days out of seven and came no where near eating all my weekly and activity points, but I still just had the feeling. The feeling was so strong that I begged Benny to watch the baby so that I could go to an extra Spin class on Friday and then run to WW on Saturday. He agreed to both because he is very supportive, but the extra work didn't give me any extra confidence that a loss was in my future. I never ended up posting my concerns and sat on the couch with my parents to watch a movie instead. For two hours my negative thoughts left my body and I enjoyed myself. Then we turned off the TV and they all came back.

This morning when I hopped on the scale I was shocked to see that I lost!!! 1.6 pounds to be exact, bringing me down my first five pounds! I signed a huge sign of relief and hoped off the scale knowing that I had worried for nothing. I knew that I hadn't let myself or anyone else down. Or did I? I was scared and didn't put my thoughts on this blog. Isn't that what blogs are for, to get your thoughts out? I had a community of readers that could have encouraged me, but instead I didn't want to admit defeat in fear that people would judge me, or worst yet stop reading! I'm sorry community of readers. When I am worried about my long, long journey I will share it with you. I wont overwork my poor leg and lower back to the point where I am in pain, just so that I can burn off the dread and desperation. Instead I will use this blog as I am supposed to and I will share the bads with the goods. After all, I probably will gain a little in my journey to lose a lot.

Is an hour of discomfort worth it?

What would you rather be doing? When I enter the gym or go out on a run I'm happy to be there. It's a break from my mini-me ISA, it's a chance to listen to old tunes, it's a chance to make showering on a daily basis a priority that can't be ignored for just one more day. I appreciate the benefits of putting myself in an uncomfortable situation. Sure I'd rather be eating ice cream and lounging on the couch but well that got me where I don't want to be. I have to ask myself: which condition is more uncomfortable, running too many miles or gaining weight year after year for the rest of my life? One hour of physical discomfort is worth a longer, fuller life, I mean come on I already admitted that one hour of discomfort is worth showering. 

How can one hour at the gym equal a fuller, longer life? Even if it's an hour of the most relaxing yoga ever, that one hour leads to a lifestyle, a healthy lifestyle. A person who takes the time to do something physically fit for his or her body usually doesn't hit up Jack and the Box on the way home (this excludes Amber Cano, she actual is one of those freaks, love ya but it's weird). So if hitting the gym, trial, heavy bag, or perfect frog pose leads to a green salad instead of a slice of pizza, that one hour of activity lengthened your life one hour at a time.

I never knew I was fat

We all look into the mirror at least once a day right? I do, probably more than that and I don't have a free minute in the day to gaze upon my reflection. So how can I look in the mirror all the time and never see a "fat" person? Overweight, obese, whatever you want to call it, it wasn't me. How am I that clueless you may ask...well Ill tell you. I never saw an overweight/fat person because I saw no evidence of it. I always wore the same size jeans, I didn't gain weight all the time requiring me to buy new clothes. No one called me names and my hubby likes me for me so I didn't feel ignored by members of the opposite sex. My cholesterol is great, no diabetes, and my blood pressure is so low the doctor always pokes me to see if I'm awake when they are taking it. But really the reason I never saw myself as overweight was/is because I never act like it.

In October, at 200 pounds, seven months after having a baby, and with exercise induced asthma, I RAN a half marathon. I didn't walk, not even once. An overweight person is not supposed to be able to do this, right? Today in yoga I bent and flexed and posed my way into pretzel like shapes that overweight people cannot get into. So I must not be overweight, right? In my mind I was the same as everyone else.

I met with a personal trainer last week and all he said was "wow, I didn't expect you to be this strong." My response was polite but in my head I thought "why not, because I'm a girl?" It never dawned on me that his surprise was probably due to my size, an overweight person is not SUPPOSED to be able to do most of the physical activities that I do. Then I remembered when I finished my half-marathon hyped up on adrenaline that a woman asked me if I had walked the race that her thin daughters had just ran. I was confused at first and corrected her with the details of my run and then returned to my family hurt that she didn't think I could run like thin people.

Well to the trainer and to the stranger and to everyone else that puts doubt on overweight people, screw you. We can do things, a lot of things. I can run and I can jump. I can climb and throw punches. I'll beat you at most sports and in a fight I would kick your ass, so watch your back because I'm coming for you. I'm only going to get stronger every day that goes by.


PS...tomorrow marks the end of week one so I'm not going to be keeping track of days anymore. It will be too hard to count back, and I'm just plain too tired for math.

Day Five: Returning to the scale for the first time

Today was the bog day. The day when I returned to the scale. Did I measure my arms, legs, and belly to see just how round I am like I wanted to do before weighing in? Nope? Who has string? Did I track every morsel of food I ate and exercise like a mad women? Yup! So what did the scale say? 195!!! Down 3.4 pounds in five days!! Tell me that's not Biggest Loser style! I was shocked and excited and ready to tell everyone who walked by. Instead I held my secret inside for a little while and sighed a little sigh of relief that I didn't let myself and all of you down. Who would have known that this blog really would keep me motivated for more.

The weight loss was great but I think the greater event that took place was bringing a friend with me to the meeting and then discussing points totals with friends at the play date hosted at our house later in the day. Having a partner in crime is such an invaluable experience. You are full of hope for your friend and they feel the same way towards you. You have someone to bounce ideas off of and to bitch to when you need it. If you ever consider embarking in a challenge that you feel you cant do alone, I bet there is someone there that will join you. Normally you don't know who that person is until you ask. I have always been a more successful athlete and dieter when I have been in a group. I put on a show to make people think that I'm just really competitive (which is pretty true so I guess its not a show) but in reality I enjoy having someone with me that feels my frustration, worry, and guilt. None of these are good traits or qualities to carry and I don't wish them on anyone, but its so nice to know that I'm not alone and that someone has my back. So to Melissa, Kersten, and Megan, thank you for being with me today throughout all our WW conversations. I appreciate each of you for many reasons and you add partner in crime to that list.

Day Two: Finding Support Where I Didn't Know I Had It

I have to say I was shocked to see how much support I received from everyone. I didn't think anyone would give me the time of day, let alone make comments and come out of the woodwork with encouragement and similar stories and struggles. I am grateful to all those who reached out. 

That was all sappy and about all I can handle so let me move on to the other wonderful piece of support I got from my husband today. I asked for a membership to 24 Hour Fitness for Christmas (and got it) and was very excited about my new home. I really like working out with buff, pretty people because it makes me want to be one. It has been great getting away from the baby for an hour (if I push it any longer I became the a-hole who gets called to Kids Club to pick up the screaming child making every ones life harder). I find myself trying to fit in workouts I don't have scheduled just to have a minute or 60 to myself. 

Anyway, I'm rambling, the reason I brought up the hubby wasn't because of the gym membership. I brought him up because today he left home early this morning so that he could come home an hour earlier (with his inventories to figure out mind you) so that I could go to a trampoline aerobics class at Sky Zone in Rocklin. Putting an inconvenience on yourself to help someone else reach a goal that may or may not be possible is kind of a big deal. So thank you to Benny for giving me the chance to try a new physical activity and thank you Paul Martins staff for allowing him to leave. Even if you called all night asking him questions, I never got called to come home to take baby duty back so he could go back to the restaurant. So thank you all, especially Benny who will hopefully make this a re-occurring Wednesday night thing. Wink Wink. 

And for anyone interested in trying a new class or activity look into trampoline classes. Even though you risk the chance of falling (as I did today), its really fun!

Day One: All or Nothing

So I'm trying again. I lost weight (a lot of weight) several years ago, but as you probably have notices its all back. It came back slow, first when I started dating Benny, then when I started a desk job, followed by leaving NYC and obtaining a car, then pregnancy, then another pregnancy, and then add a love for junk food to all of that. So today at Weight Watchers I weighted in at 198.4 pounds, eight pounds heavier then I started at back in 2003. When I first lost weight I had a goal, I was going to be a police officer. This time I don't have such an obvious goal. Should I just loss weight to live longer? That's not soon enough. I want an easier pregnant so maybe weight loss will help? I just want to be hot? I guess I should figure things out.

I decided to start a blog when I went to Barnes and Nobles looking for a book for inspiration. In the past I have been motivated by books on super athletes or even just normal people who have accomplished cool stuff. They always made me want to do whatever it was they were doing. For example, I read about a girl who swam across the English Channel and suddenly I wanted to swim. So I want to lose weight and get buff again therefore I want to read a book about a plain Jane who did just that. And after scouring B & N and leaving empty handed I decided I would just do it myself. Here I am, for you to read about. Lets see how I do.